《10 Habits of Successful People 2》

Most people have habits— some are positive, some are not. Successful people tend to have more of the kinds of habits that contribute to their success.

6. Networking

Successful people know the value of exchanging ideas with others through networking. They also know the value of collaboration and teamwork—all of which are likely when you network.

Successful people know the importance of surrounding themselves with other successful people.

7. Frugality

Frugal is not the same as stingy. Frugality is a habit of being thrifty, with money and resources. It is also a habit of being economical. Learning to be economical comes through avoiding waste, which automatically results in efficiency.

Successful people avoid overspending. Instead, they comparison-shop and negotiate. The result is financial success through the simple act of saving more money than they spend. 

8. Rising Early

The more time one can devote to being successful, the more likely success will result. Successful people are accustomed to rising early, and that habit repeatedly appears among those who do well in life.

9. Sharing

Whether through donating to charity or the sharing of ideas, successful people have a habit of giving. They know the value of sharing and most believe their success should result in something more than the accumulation of wealth for themselves.

Lack of wealth does not need to be a factor when it comes to sharing. Volunteering in your community or at a local school does not cost anything but could provide help where it is needed most.

10. Reading

It's important to note that successful people read. While they also read for pleasure, most use their reading habit as a means to gain knowledge or insight.

The good news, for those who wish to be successful, is that cultivating positive habits takes no more effort than developing bad ones. Some of the best habits of successful people involve only conscious effort, like getting up early every day. Others, such as becoming organized, may take a little more skill and practice but ultimately result in the most desired outcome of all—success.

《10 Habits of Successful People 1》

Aside from the random element of luck, much of what makes some people successful involves the cultivating of certain habits. Learning what these habits are and how to employ them in your own life is worthwhile.

1. Organization

One of the most frequently mentioned habits of those who are successful in life is organization. Such organization includes planning as well as setting priorities and goals.

2. Relaxation

It’s interesting to note that relaxing—by meditating or simply avoiding distractions— is another of the most-often mentioned habits of successful people.

Of course, relaxation comes more easily to those who are organized, so perhaps for some, it is more of a natural byproduct than a conscious decision. It may also be that the act of “taking a breath” is the successful person’s way of preparing for the effort yet to come. In fact, one of the first steps toward achieving a meditative or relaxed state is to concentrate on your own breathing for three to five minutes. 

3. Taking Action

Third on the list of habits of successful people is the inevitable “action” habit. It is important to organize, to plan, and to set priorities, but without action, a plan is nothing more than potential.

4. Personal Care

Personal care with regard to diet, exercise, and hygiene comes next on the list of habits of those who are successful.

5. Positive Attitude

According to many successful people, having a positive attitude is not just a result of being successful—it’s one of the root causes of success.

《Going All-In: Investing vs Gambling》

Have you heard someone say, "Investing in the stock market is just like gambling at a casino?"

True, investing and gambling both involve risk and choice—specifically, the risk of capital with hopes of future profit. But gambling is typically a short-lived activity, while equities investing can last a lifetime. Also, there is a negative expected return to gamblers, on average and over the long run. On the other hand, investing in the stock market typically carries with it a positive expected return on average over the long run.

When you gamble, you own nothing, but when you invest in a stock, you own a share of the underlying company.

In both gambling and investing, a key principle is to minimize risk while maximizing profits. But when it comes to gambling, the house always has an edge—a mathematical advantage over the player that increases the longer they play.

In contrast, the stock market constantly appreciates over the long term. This doesn't mean that a gambler will never hit the jackpot, and it also doesn't mean that a stock investor will always enjoy a positive return. It is simply that over time, if you keep playing, the odds will be in your favor as an investor and not in your favor as a gambler.

"Neither get in or out is an investing strategy. Period, that's just gambling on moments in time. And investing should always be a disciplined process over time.” 

Another key difference between the two activities has to do with the concept of time. Gambling is a time-bound event, while an investment in a company can last several years. With gambling, once the game or race or hand is over, your opportunity to profit from your wager has come and gone. You either have won or lost your capital.

Stock investing, on the other hand, can be time-rewarding. Investors who purchase shares in companies that pay dividends are actually rewarded for their risked dollars.

Both stock investors and gamblers look to the past, studying historical performance and current behavior to improve their chances of making a winning move. Information is a valuable commodity in the world of gambling as well as stock investing. 

《Overcoming The Casino Mentality》

Education offers the most potent defense against the casino mentality. Start your trading career by reading solid tutorial materials on investing, trading, and the history of the financial markets.

Realistically, many new participants avoid the educational path because they are perfectly content chasing the illusion of easy money, looking for the markets to provide big paydays without working up a sweat.

Logistically, this works to the advantage of more serious minded participants, generating a large supply of fumbling weak hands that add to reward potential at key market turning points. 

Trading can be exciting, stimulating, emotional, and engrossing - which can induce reward pathways in the brain. When a day trader takes a profit, or even gets excited about a potential profit, the brain releases “feel good” neurochemicals such as dopamine and serotonin. As such, you can become addicted, just like with casino gambling or using illicit drugs. How dangerous can a trading addiction be? Like any severe addiction, trading addiction can cost you your job, personal relationships, and, of course, your financial resources.

《其實寂寞》

獨處，並非不需要別人，而是不害怕一個人。

人都有煩惱不被喜歡的時候，或是擔心別人異樣的眼光。這是流淌在我們身體裡的習性，人類一直有社交的需求。

然而，這習性原本是為了保護自己，如今卻漸漸讓人失去自己。因為恐懼別人怎麼想，就不敢為自己想；因為擔心別人討厭自己，就忘了要喜歡自己。

其實，做開心的自己就好，自然會有人喜歡那樣的你。記得，你的在乎有限，應該留給珍惜自己的人，而不是針對自己的人；人的時間寶貴，寧可自己一個人，也不該分給討厭的人。

《課題分離2》

課題分離本質上，是在父母和我們的關係之間設立彈性的界限，我們擁有選擇分離的權利。確實有家庭不用課題分離也能非常融洽，但如果相處已經帶來痛苦，就要面對。該怎麼做呢？

最重要的前提，在經濟上獨立。

許多子女之所以和父母糾纏不清，是在經濟上和情感上仍然依賴父母。許多人是工作二、三年之後，才逐漸經濟獨立。有些人甚至結婚後，經濟依然受父母掌控。如果無法經濟獨立，相當於讓父母承擔我們的課題，要如何進行課題分離呢？

從實際操作面來講，其實是溝通問題。在此介紹「自我堅定」，能幫助你與父母溝通時，堅定表達自己的想法，也尊重父母的觀點，避免衝突升級。自我堅定分為三步驟：計畫、表達和回應。

第一步，計畫

在和父母溝通之前，先確定對這件事的態度和想法。你必須自己想清楚，在與父母溝通時，才能避免被自己的內疚或憤怒等情緒帶著跑。

第二步，表達

溝通時盡量以「我」開頭表達，我感到、我想、我希望……，客觀陳述自己的感受，減少話語中的攻擊性。

第三步，回應

在面對質疑和指責時，可採取「非辯護式回應」：不提要求，不做解釋，只做回應，回應你自己的觀念、看法。一旦我們因為父母的負評急著辯解，就陷入他們的價值判斷系統，溝通會處於被動。

這樣的溝通不表示一次就能見效，但能幫助你在面對父母的反對、埋怨和指責時保持冷靜，也能爭取更多機會表達自己的想法。和父母溝通的目的，不是非要尋求他們的認同和贊成，而是找到更多機會讓父母理解你、尊重你。

從長期來看，課題分離對父母也是好的，他們不該用一輩子的時間對我們的課題負責，他們值得擁有自己的生活，你也不用一輩子為他們的情感課題負責，你也值得擁有自己的生活。

《課題分離1 》

「課題分離」的意思是，在生活中，你有你的功課，我有我的功課，大家彼此做好自己的功課，也不要去干涉別人的功課，這樣就能免去無數的人際煩惱。我們人生各種大大小小的事情，大到上學、談戀愛、工作、結婚……小到吃飯、買東西、打電話……都可以叫做「課題」。如何區分一件事情到底屬於誰的課題？

那就是，這個選擇的後果最後由誰承擔，就是誰的課題。

A 想要和男友結婚，但媽媽不同意，甚至強迫她分手。按照課題分離，「選擇和誰結婚」是A 的課題，不是A 媽媽的課題。結婚這件事，對後果負責的人是 A，無論將來這婚姻是好是壞，是由A 自己承擔，她媽媽無法代替她和對方過日子。A 的媽媽可以提出意見，但不能強迫她分手，更不能代替她做決定。

面對原生家庭時，想真正做到課題分離，這種困難通常會表現為兩種情況。

第一種情況，明明自己才是課題責任人，但在不經意間，把自己的課題甩給父母，潛意識無法為自己的課題負責。

面對父母的干涉，許多時候我們會順水推舟把自己的課題推給父母擔責。如果結果是好的，當然皆大歡喜；但如果結果不好，之後便感到後悔，然後開始抱怨父母。更深層的原因，是我們沒有真正為自己的選擇負責。

第二種情況，我們常為了得到父母的認同，把父母的課題當成自己的課題，把父母的評價當成自我價值的衡量標準，沒做到真正的心理獨立。

許多人總會被內疚感折磨，背後隱藏著一種恐懼，就是我們可能讓父母失望、傷心和憤怒的恐懼。從小接受有條件的愛，會害怕做出讓父母失望的選擇，好像父母對自己失望，代表自己不值得被愛。他們把自己的個人價值建立在父母的評價上，因此即使父母的期待不合理，他們也會妥協、犧牲。

無法忍受父母失望和不滿的人，代表還沒有實現真正的成長。對於你做的選擇，父母其實是可以失望的，那是他們的課題。我們不需要父母無時無刻的認同，承擔父母的失望和不滿，是遲早該面對的人生課題。

從小沒有習得課題分離，長大了就沒有被討厭的勇氣。簡單來說，當我們沒有一定要對方的認同，我們在情緒上才最穩定。我們的穩定，才可能給出妥妥地陪伴，以及反過來給對方深刻的認同，走向共好。